One thing that I’ve had on my mind lately has been the feeling of not being good enough for this blogging world. With social media and everyone blogging, it can be really tough to not fall into the habit of comparison. You always hear that social media is a highlight reel of people’s lives, and frankly, we all know it. But there are still plenty of times where I find myself saying, “Why would these people want to follow me and see my content?”, “I’m not pretty enough to have a big following”, and so many other destructive thoughts. Lately, I’ve been having a lot of self-doubt in my creativity, my skills, and my overall success in life. So today, I wanted to share a little bit about those feelings and what I try to do to over come them.
When I’m starting to have these self-destructive thoughts, it almost always comes after I saw someone who seems to be living an incredible life. Maybe it’s an influencer who’s gone on an amazing trip or just bought a house or had an amazing career opportunity. Maybe it’s someone I went to college with who got engaged or stayed at a fancy hotel and I’m wondering how they can afford it. Sometimes it’s just seeing someone who’s really well dressed walking around, honestly. For me personally, it’s really easy to slip into those self-destructive thoughts. As I’ve said a few times in previous blogs, I feel like I struggle with authenticity sometimes because I’m still figuring out exactly who I am and who I’m meant to be. Sometimes, I don’t feel like I’m creative enough or have good enough style or do anything special that makes people want to follow me, and those thoughts make me spend a lot of time trying to appeal to my audience. Usually when I’m trying to appeal to my audience, I get the complete opposite result because they can see that I’m not being my authentic self.
Because I’m still figuring a lot of things out, being authentic can be tough. It’s tough to remember that I’m creative in my own way and I have my own style that might be different than other people I see on the street. It causes a lot of doubt in me and what I can do, but I move past it. Yes, sometimes I have to wallow in self-pity before I get over it, but I always get over it and get my groove back.
Some of the most important things I do to help myself get over my doubting feelings are to talk to someone that knows me well and I feel comfortable sharing that information with. Getting an objective opinion sometimes feels like they are just being nice, so you have to trust that the person you talk to will always tell you the honest truth and give you the feedback you need to improve. For me, that person is my boyfriend. Yes, he loves me and will tell me all the good things I need to hear, but I also know that he will give me his honest opinion and tell me straight up when I’m being dramatic or having a pity party for myself. So it’s really important to find a good person to talk these things out with.
Another thing that has been very helpful to me is to pray about it. I haven’t talked about this in a long time, but I do still pray often just to say thank you or to ask for help on certain things. Sometimes I feel like I get an answer right away, and sometimes it feels like He went on vacation and I had to leave a voicemail for the tenth time. One thing that it comes down to with prayer is just trusting and believing that God has a plan for you and He’ll show you what you need to know when the time is right. But that doesn’t mean to sit back and relax until you see a sign from the heavens. You have to keep working on your own, because being faithful is great but God’s not going to do the work for you. He’s just there to show you the way, but you still have to put in the work to get there.
Last but not least, it sounds silly, but you have to just take a step back and remember where you came from. When we start our journey in blogging, we usually have no idea how to set up a website or plan content or use a tripod, but we learn. We get better at writing and styling and posing for photos. We learn what angles look best for us and which coffee shops let you take photos inside and how to change in the car without being seen. It’s all a learning curve, but there are a ton of resources and along the way you figure it out. I remember starting from nothing and being so nervous to share my content with my friends and family for the first time. I remember struggling so much to get my first 100 followers and 200 followers on my blog. Getting to 1,000 followers on Instagram felt like torture, but I did it. Stopping to think about where I started and where I am now is usually the biggest help to me when I’m doubting myself. Maybe I’m having a bad week for engagement or all my photos turned out horrible, but I’m way further than I was a year and a half ago when I started. Reminding myself where I came from is always my motivation for moving forward because I know so much more now than I did back then and I’m still learning every day.
P.S. Keep up with me on Instagram: @karenmauritzenn