We are off to start another week and my goodness, it’s off to a rough start. It’s a holiday week this time and hopefully that makes it feel a little bit better, but we shall see. Right now, it’s a weird time where I’m totally over winter and the cold, but it’s just not anywhere near being warm yet. All I want is to go on a nice warm vacation and relax on the beach for a few days to recharge. It’s not really that I’m feeling burnt out or anything, but maybe just uninspired. I usually love dressing for the cold and I feel like that inspiration can take me well into the spring, but this year feels different. I’m sort of slowing down on my creativity after about 2-3 months of nonstop creative thinking. That’s why I’m thinking a nice warm vacation would come in handy, but unfortunately, I don’t think there’s really a chance for that until June. So let’s wait and see I guess! As always, I linked as much as possible in the caption of each photo, as long as the exact item or something similar is available!
So it’s President’s Day today, which apparently everyone and their mom has off for. I truly thought it was just a school holiday and didn’t realize corporate America also decided to give you time off for it. Anyway, so this morning I thought I was going to have a super easy commute but BOY, WAS I WRONG. On the LIRR, I couldn’t take my normal train because they are running on the weekend schedule for the holiday which means it stopped at EVERY SINGLE STOP instead of being an express train and I had to wait out in the cold for an extra 10 minutes before the train came. That should have told me it was going to be a rough day, but I just kept on pushing thinking everything would be fine. Then I got to Penn Station, swiped my Metrocard and found out that my subway is also not running today because they are on a weekend schedule. So I had to get out of the subway, walk one block over and go back down to a different subway, paying double the subway fare of course. Turns out, I got on the wrong train and so I had to get off about 10 blocks from where I originally intended to get off so I could stop at Fedex on my way to work. Luckily, Fedex was open which is the best part of this story honestly. After I stopped there, I went to Starbucks to get my coffee and ended up spilling it all down the front of my coat. I just about cried for the day I was having, and it wasn’t even 9:00am yet. I hope you’re having a better day than I am. Here’s a picture of my outfit.
I know at the beginning of this post that I said I’m not feeling burnt out, but I am feeling something. I’m just exhausted all the time and I think it’s a combination of traveling, commuting 3 hours a day, and trying to balance this blog and work and a social life. I was thinking today about how I never take the stairs up from the subway because I know that I am so exhausted by the end of it because I have zero stamina after about 6 months of not going to the gym because I just can’t prioritize it into the rest of my schedule. As we inch closer to the spring and the idea of moving starts to look more like a reality, I’m realizing just how tiring my current schedule is and it feels like I’m slowing down as I get closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. And it’s not so much out of nerves or fear or anxiety, it’s just pure exhaustion. It’s just something I’ll need to be more conscious of over the next few months and to make sure that I’m giving myself personal care and breaks when I need them.
One thing I want to say is that I was really into my outfit today. It was so incredibly comfortable and I was so happy to wear it. The next thing is that I was incredibly tired today. I made the mistake of going to bed at 12:00 am last night and I woke up to my normal 5:30 am alarm. Needless to say, it was a rough day for me. I woke up feeling like I didn’t really want to talk to anyone, so I just buckled down and focused on some work. I didn’t check my phone or anything either, I literally just did some work and it was good. I felt productive even though I was tired and I think I really needed the break from social interaction to focus. Later in the day, I had some errands to run and I had a ton of work to do, but I just wasn’t really in the mood to keep working so once I got home, I made dinner and watched a little bit of the Democratic debate and then got ready to go to bed. It was a day that could have been a really bad one, but I just didn’t feel like having a bad day and it ended up being pretty okay.
So today, I was feeling tired and had a lot of anxiety running through my body. I had something going on today that made me overthink and doubt myself and it was such an interesting experience. I was feeling really down on myself and thinking that I wasn’t good enough but once it was all over, I realized that I was making it a million times worse than it was! It actually went really well and I had done an excellent job after all. It’s such a crazy thing to be self-doubting and not believe in ourselves. It just feels so silly after the fact. It made me realize that I’m really hard on myself and I need to realize that I’m good at things and I deserve good things. I also realized that I need to be patient and more positive when things get hard. Having a negative attitude made my situation yesterday seem so bad when it was really very good. My negative attitude had been causing me a lot more stress and hardship than I really need and I need to refocus on what my goal is. It’s nearly impossible to reach your goals when you have a negative outlook and yesterday was a big realization of that for me.
Oh boy it;s Friday! Yesterday, I thought today was going to be Thursday, so I’m extra excited that it’s Friday. It’s been a long week, and honestly it’ll be a long weekend too but I’m feeling good today and hoping that will carry me through the rest of the weekend. Today should be pretty light and easy! It’s super cold so I wanted to dress comfortable today, but I also have a party to go to after work tonight for a friend’s birthday (but I still decided sneakers was the way to go). Tomorrow, I’m super excited about finally getting back to shooting some photos (that I still haven’t planned out yet, oops) and my first blogger meet up! I have had it on my mind for s few months now that I wanted to find some groups of bloggers in NYC to meet up with for networking and to build connections, share tips, etc. I found a few groups back in December that I wanted to try out but the timing didn’t work out for me for a while. This weekend I’m finally getting to go to my first one and I couldn’t be more excited or nervous. I get nervous about new social situations, but I think the benefit will make it worth it. I can’t wait to come home with some new tips and tricks on improving my social media presence after the panel they are having!
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